101 Things I Love About Arthur Kirkland
by danceonthebrink
Summary: USUK. Don't get freaked out or anything, I swear I'm not some stalker, I just happened to know a lot of things about you and also just happened to love you. Written in letter form- major fluff.
1. Chapter 1

**101 Things I Love About Arthur Kirkland**

Dear Arthur Kirkland,

Don't get freaked out or anything, I swear I'm not some stalker, I just happened to know a lot of things about you and also just happened to love you. And I know you'll probably think this is a joke, and you'll also fuss over how I started a lot of my sentences with 'and', and how I didn't even use proper grammar and keep running my sentences together and are not using paragraphs, but this letter is anonymous so you can't yell at me~

FUN FACT: I was actually going to make it '101 Reasons Why I Love Arthur Kirkland' but then I realised that I'd love you no matter what, without explanation. There is no 'why' about it. So here's a list of things I love ABOUT you, because the other day after you rejected Francis, he told you that no-one would ever love you if you kept being mean to people, and I thought you looked very sad after that, and like you might have believed it, when that is not true! Because I love you!

So, without further ado, I present to you, Arthur (idk wtf ur middle name is) Kirkland this letter of love or whatever it is. You'd probably know, you're very smart :) That's just one of the reasons why I love you. It's even on this list. (#54. I went back to check for you. That's how much I love you.)

Go! Read your heart out! I know you like reading, you nerd.

1\. Your sexy British accent.

2\. Your eyebrows which are friggin massive but still wuvable.

3\. Your cute messy hair that always sticks up in the morning, then it matches my cowlick.

4\. Your lovely collarbones… Mmm idk what is so sexy about your collarbones but damn.

5\. Your heart which is probably even bigger than your brows tbh.

6\. Your feminine curves~ Okay, maybe I peeked in gym class.

7\. Speaking of which, nice tattoo. :P

8\. Your cooking.

9\. Kay maybe not the last one but I always appreciate the effort, Artie :)

10\. Every single one of your cute widdle toes.

11\. Your halloween costumes… especially that nurse costume. (1*)

12\. Your weird obsession with tea cosies.

13\. Your perky butt. :P

14\. Those sweater vests you insists on wearing… now that's what I call sexy. *sarcasm*

15\. Your smile. It's very rare, so it just makes it even more special.

16\. Those times where you make people think that you're reading some old person book and it's actually porn.

17\. Your 'articulate way of speaking'. Your words, not mine.

18\. You can always looks on the bad side of things (ever the pessimist, don't ask me why I love it.)

19\. You hum really quietly underneath your breath while working, but I can only hear it if I'm really close.

20\. Umm not that I perv on you or anything.

21\. Crap I wasted a reason! I should have typed this up instead of writing it down. :( but I know you prefer handwritten stuff, so I will do it for you because I'm a hero!

22\. Double crap you'll probably be able to tell who I am through my handwriting.

23\. Uh, anyways, I love your, uh, eyes! Yep, they're perfect and green even despite those massive brows, haha.

24\. Speaking of handwriting, your's is really nice! It's like all cursive and pretty, like how I presume they wrote in the olden days.

25\. You used to have a crush on this girl, Michelle, (everyone knew, even me) which was totally cute and adorable because you'd always stumble over your words and like be clumsy around her even though I was kinda sad cause you never act like that around me so you probably don't like me back :/

26\. Wow I'm saying 'your' and 'you' a lot, huh?

27\. You smell really nice! I first thought you would smell gross like of old books and old people and old stuff, but you actually smell like smoke and rain which doesn't sound very nice but is actually a very lovely smell.

28\. You call people you like pet names like 'poppet' and 'love' and once you called me poppet and my heart probably burst with joy and that's why I laughed, but I think you thought I laughed because I thought that 'poppet' was a stupid name, and that's why you got mad. Sorry Artie. :(

29\. Your fingers are very nice looking. You could be a pianist or something (that word always makes me giggle because it sounds like penis.)

30\. Oh no, now you probably think I'm immature or something! Sorry, pianist doesn't make me think of penises, I swear. I mean, Roderich is a pianist, and he's icky.

31\. You drink your tea like your some posh gentleman. And you also taught me how to drink tea like a gentleman, though I told you I didn't care because I prefer coffee :/ I actually don't mind tea, btw.

32\. Your stories are the best thing that I've ever read! You should seriously consider becoming an author. :) I bet if you ever wrote one of these list thingies to me in return (doubtful) it would be lovely and eloquent (that's how Mr Vargas described your work) and I'd probably be jealous that yours was better if I wasn't so happy to get it.

33\. You insist on having bear shaped biscuits with your afternoon tea, which is so friggin cute, you have no idea.

34\. You always tell it like it is.

35\. When you get embarrassed or mad, your face turns very red and it makes me very tingly inside.

36\. And by tingly I mean a NON-SEXUAL tingly. Nothing sexual going on over here!

37\. Though I wouldn't object to any sexual offers, if they were to come. (Hehe, cum.)

38\. Speaking of sexual, I once saw a video of you while you were drunk and I must say that while I appreciated the angel costume, I got a little flustered from all of the sexual innuendos you were making and I was wondering if you'd like to maybe get a drink with me sometime?

39\. A platonic drink, of course.

40\. You look very sweet while you sleep.

41\. NOT THAT I'M A STALKER OR ANYTHING I MEAN I JUST HAPPENED UPON YOUR OFFICE AND YOU HAPPENED TO BE ASLEEP DON'T THINK ANY LESS OF ME.

42\. You treat your student council position like it is a real job.

43\. And you always insist that it is, despite the fact that it is totally not.

44\. And you always do your best to please all of the clubs, even the crappy girly ones like embroidery.

45\. Uh so I just remembered that you are in the embroidery club and wanted to say that I was joking and embroidery is really manly, dude :)

46\. I also think the thingies you make in that club are super cute and I would like to have one if you ever find out who I am, but only if you want to and if you don't that's okay.

47\. Preferably a scarf with matching mittens, socks, and everything because I get very cold during winter, especially since I don't have you to cuddle with. :(

48\. Please forget that last one and thank you for being so forgiving that counts as a reason why I love you.

49\. Hey, I just realised that 'reason' sounds a lot like 'raison'! (THE MOAR YOU KNOW)

50\. Whoa, half way done already! Well, kinda. What's half of 101? Who knows? Guess what, I just glanced at the clock, and I've been writing for over an hour! :P My hand hurts. But it's okay, it's a good hurt, and it's worth knowing that you'll probably smile while reading this (or maybe you'll just throw it in the bin but I hope not). Read on, dude.

51\. Your taste in music really surprised me, Artie! I thought you would listen to 'classics' like Roderich but no, it turns out you're actually into rock! I mean, it kind of explains how you dress some of the time, but I think it's really awesome. We should chill out and listen to Green Day or something in the future!

52\. Once you dyed your hair red, and I must say that you look marvellous as a ginger.

53\. I know you still have imaginary friends, which is kinda weird and creepy, but since it's one of your weird quirks I can't help but love it!

54\. You are super duper smart! Much smarter than me, and you totally rock at English! I'd tell you what I rock at, but then you might know who I am and also this is 101 Things I Love About Arthur Kirkland, not 101 Things I Love About Arthur Kirkland and some stuff about me as well.

55\. Your perfectly manicured nails (I know u get them done, don't lie.)

56\. Just so you know, I thought it was pretty badass when you shot your brother with an arrow, even if everyone else said you were being too violent. You'd be a good sidekick for a hero like me!

57\. Also, remind me not to mess with you. You did a lot of damage for someone so small :/

58\. You're very funny! I know you don't mean to be and most of the things you say are meant to be sarcastic or rude, but they're still funny to me.

59\. You should be a professional insult writer if the author things doesn't work, btw.

60\. Or a professional author who gives out free insults with every copy of his book sold, and by free I mean ACTUALLY free, not included in the price like McDonald's happy meal toys grrr. (2*)

61\. You can't swim… Which is pretty cute. Don't worry, if you ever find yourself drowning, I'll save you!"

62\. Did I already mention how attractive you are? You're the most attractive person I've ever seen ^-^

63\. Beyonce ain't got nothing on you, honey.

64\. Well apart from the fact she is a girl and has boobs but I'm sure if you had boobs they'd be great!

65\. Speaking of chests- how the hell do you not eat anything but those crusty old scones of yours and have such a great figure? Granted, you're pretty skinny, but grr you still have muscles.

66\. I get butterflies whenever I see you.

67\. I like butterflies (that's why #66's on this list.)

68\. When you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while! (That's a song.)

69\. I think it's very clever how you can use your position as the student council president to kick people's asses (unless if it's my ass. I'd prefer you to be doing other things with mine ;))

70\. Don't roll your eyes at me. I had to say something like that, it was #69!

71\. If you were a McDonald's burger, you'd be a McGorgeous, and I'd be McLovin' it. ;D

72\. I don't know whether or not you like McDonalds, but I dooo~

73\. You sweat really easily, probably 'cause it's all cold in rainy old England and you're not used to America's sun (that's independent sunshine) but I don't mind… Not at all. Especially during P.E and your clothes stick to you.

74\. You're the only person I know who can make things like sweater vests _and_ gym clothes look good. Some people can't even manage one.

75\. I wonder what else would look good on you… haha jk I already know everything does.

76\. Actually, why the hell do you sweat so much? Your stamina level must be as low as my daily vegetable intake. :P

77\. You say a lot of funny British words that make me laugh.

78\. And lots of British slang. (Seriously, jumper? It's called a sweater m8.)

79\. The Italy bros are _terrified_ of you. How'd you manage that in the first place? lol.

80\. I also think Antonio might be, as well. Or maybe he just hates you for crushing him at battleship. (How is he not over that yet?)

81\. Your backpack (3*) is adorable. I'm loving the unicorn charms. Did you use them to charm your way into my heart? ;D

82\. You've got mad forecasting skills, dude. How the hell do you always know when it's going to rain? Too bad you never share your umbrella. :(

83\. You act really posh but you're actually nice.

84\. I swear you're from like 17th century England with how uptight and posh you are.

85\. You can actually sail a boat! I was quite surprised about that. Adding how much you cuss along with that, and you could be a pirate! Pirates are cool :)

86\. Hey, who do you think would win in a fight; a superhero or a pirate?

87\. I personally think a superhero. Them the dashing, handsome hero (that's me) would sweep the leading lady (that's you, the pirate) of her (in this case his) feet.

88\. You could even wear a dress, if you want.

89\. Err… Forget that. Let's get back on track.

90\. You look lovely in jeans.

91\. You don't have crooked teeth like most English dudes :)

92\. They're actually very nice teeth. Very white and pearly, you must brush every day! (I don't. Psshh, who has the time?)

93\. You don't seem to go out much, which is cool, but just remember Fergie's famous words: "A little party never killed nobody!" It's okay to chill.

94\. Everyone needs a good chillin' once in a while, ya know?

95\. Hmm I'm kinda running out of things to say. I mean, not that I don't love you enough, it's just everything else I can think of is either irrelevant or embarrassing. There's a lot things I want to say but you'd know who I am.

96\. …You're cute.

97\. Super cute.

98\. Also sexy.

99\. …yea.

100\. Nearly there…

101\. I love all of you! And don't you ever forget it ;) 3

Love, your secret admirer.

P.S. Aren't secret admirers cool and mysterious? I thought you might like it.

P.P.S. Almost forgot! *gives you a goodbye hug* :)

* * *

 **I'm actually not too pleased at how this turned out. :/**

 **Sorry if some of the text is confusing, like how Alfred speaks, but I sort of imagine he would be all awkward like this. If I ever have the time, I might do a sequel in which Arthur replies. Let me know what you think! Terrible or wonderful idea? (I swear I'd make his as eloquent as possible.)**

 **Also, if you couldn't tell, this is Gakuen au, but it can be overlooked pretty easily.**

 **(1.)** **Remember the April Fools Day episode/strip, for those of you who don't catch this reference? :D**

 **(2.)** **Not sure if this is actually true or not, and am also too lazy to look it up.**

 **(3.)** **I'm not sure Americans actually call these things. Is it a satchel? Rucksack? School bag? I always get so confused -_-**


	2. A sequel?

There's a sequel! It's by Yesteryears's Killer Liner and is called '101 Things I Like About Alfred F Jones'. GO READ IT IT'S WONDERFUL.

(•£•)


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